WASHINGTON — Note: This is the second year that I have offered my wisdom and insight to graduates. I’m not going to whine about not being asked to speak like Cal Thomas, but let me offer my take.

Thanks for having me at (school name here). Now graduates, you are about to embark on (something) when you leave (your school here) and know that not only the knowledge you have gained (or not) at (your school here) will be around. Here are some other bits of wisdom.

You all have been through a lot during your time at (your school here). The world has changed, changed into something else and changed back again by time you came here at (your school here).

Right now, the world you will go into isn’t really great. We have a big recession, political upheaval, two wars, oil slicks, chicken sandwiches that use chicken like bread, reality TV, tea parties, and flip flops are the shoe of choice.

It’s a crazy world.

A world that, right now, I just don’t think you young men and women at (your school here) are ready for or want to be a part of. No matter how much knowledge you have gained or awards you have won or the praise rightly dawned on you, this world isn’t the brand of vodka you should be drinking right now.

So, ladies and gentlemen at (your school here), I have one simple piece of advice to heap upon you as you graduate today: Don’t.

Don’t graduate. Stay in school and delay the post-graduation depression that the world you know sucks and you really don’t know anything about it anyway.

You’re broke, probably unemployed or at the least underemployed, you have debt up to your eyeballs. You’re probably single and trolling the bars to find that one mate that may or may not be that one you start the next phase of life with.

Why go through that? Stay in school. Look at all the geniuses that went on the nine-year plan. Yeah, some of them are doctors but you don’t have to have a Ph.D. or a M.D. to justify it. All you need is a student aid form and a part-time job waiting tables at Applebees.

You will find that people who were laid off take the starter job you want so they can keep the payments going on their RV. Or the idiot who can’t add the change in your pocket but gets the job because they have an uncle in high places.

(Note: If this is a high school graduation, much of the previous will not make sense because the state says when you reach a certain age and have done the right tests, you have to go. It’s okay if they go because they will start college, or the military or a technical education. I recommend the minimum of six years for them. Don’t be fooled by people that say you should be done in four. They lie.)

Okay, so if you insist on putting away your apron and taking that piece of paper you are about to be given, here’s some more advice on going. Pick a profession that people need right now, including a few you should stay away from.

• Health insurance? Will be obsolete in a few years. Thank God.

• Teaching? I would normally say go for this profession, but not right now. You will be laid off first, instead of the teacher two years away from retiring who insists on using the books pre-test. It will make a comeback.

• Public Relations? No way, unless you work for BP. They need all the PR they can get.

• Banking? I would stay away from Goldman Sachs.

Instead graduates, there are two careers that the world really needs. One is welding. I have tried to weld metal and it is an art. Master it and you will never go broke.

Also, think about nursing. There are a lot of burns that happen in welding practice and more times than not, nurses actually care.

(Note: Again, if this is high school, the message changes a little bit. I still push the welding and nursing, but I add a little bit of follow your dreams, you can achieve your goals, tip your teacher on your way out, blah, blah, blah.)

I’m glad I could help and really take this message to heart for you graduates at (your school here).

Think about it and financial aid forms can be found at the back of the arena.

n Nate Smith needs a new copy of “Animal House.” E-mail him at nsmith@washtimesherald.com.